heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
is it fun? or sober?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
