all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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