All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
