how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
false alarm, still single
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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