So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize