is your mom at the bar?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
