I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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