R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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