Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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