if you like me you must not know who I am
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
