11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is your mom at the bar?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
