yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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