You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
