DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
