the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize