if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
