I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
