:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
