you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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