Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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