How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
