That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize