Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
