Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
