i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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