erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
