i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
