im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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