k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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