found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he fucked my hip out of place.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
