I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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