I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
