I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
