Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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