I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
