You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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