Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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