I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
