He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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