We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
