Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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