Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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