Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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