I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
