Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
