Duck Duck Cougar?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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