They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
my poor anus
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
