Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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