Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
