Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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