I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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