if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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