this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
