i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
