So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
