Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She tied me up with her honor cords...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize