We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
