I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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