hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
