I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
