I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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