Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She announced her abortion via fbk
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
