they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
