We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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