she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
