New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
